Sorority Row (Movie 1 of 31)


********************   Spoilers  ***********************************

This is the kind of horror movie that is mind numbing, but you know you will see boobs. I know the story is not going to be that good.  I’m currently about 20 minutes in and I already know that Carrie Fisher is the killer. I will correct myself at the end of this if I am wrong.

So the story goes as the following.   There is a group of sorority sister who are playing a joke on an ex-boyfriend of one of the sorority sisters. He cheated on her, and now he must pay! One of the girls gives the ex-boyfriend some fake ruffies. Which he gives to his ex-girl (the one he cheated on), she then in return starts fake vomiting, and acting like she is going into shock. The group of girls then convenience the ex-boyfriend that they are lost, while going to the hospital, which they aren’t, it is still part of the ruse.  Once that arrive in the middle of nowhere, the boyfriend, goes to dismember the body, while the other girls are off looking for “sharp rocks” in turn killing her for real.  At this point they decide they really do have to cover up the killing, by throwing the body down a well.  (On a side note, one of the girls did not want to do this. She wanted to go to the cops, I guess to throw us off the real killer.

Fast forward to graduation and the sorority is having a BIG party.  This is the perfect time, for the revenge killings to start.

Shower scene, and we finally see some boobs, and it is only for a second, and they were not that great.

Oh the party is in full swing now, and bubbles are everywhere, oh shit, there is the killer, at the party in a dark robe…oh wait is more boobs.

Everyone who was at the killing has started receiving texts messages from the killer. I love how none of them are able to figure where the text messages are coming.

Now we are going back to the scene of the crime, and down the well. Will Megan still be there? Oh snap the chain broke, and Cass went falling, but she is OK.

At the bottom of the well, there is no Megan, but a message saying something about the sorority having to die. 

Now they are back at the house, and everyone has left the party, and some of the girls have separated.

You know, bubbles are not as scary as something like fog. I mean they are white, and fluffy, like clouds. This is something else which is not scary.

Oh, maybe Carrie Fisher isn’t the killer.  Oh shit! I was wrong, and Carrie Fisher is dead.

 

Oh how lame! The killer is such a copout.

 

On a scale of 10, I give this a 4.3